Inspired by Inside Higher Education's "alternative" NCAA bracket (Holy Cross takes it all!), my beloved and I decided last week to launch an experiment of our own. Given that weekend two of basketball heaven is upon us, it seems like a good time to publicly reveal our choices (click for larger version):
Careful perusal of the bracket reveals our strategy: teams with dog mascots win. Sounds easy, but this bracket actually required pretty intense deliberations. Here are some of our guiding maxims:
Fast break dogs always beat big man dogs (hence, SIU Salukis beat Albany Great Danes).
Dog pets always beat animals, even if those animals are dogs (e.g., Great Danes beat Nevada Wolfpack).
In a matchup with no dogs of any kind, animals beat non-animals as well as animals they could legitimately eat (hence, Gators beat Wildcats).
Wealthier or stronger people mascots beat other people teams (e.g., Vandy Commodores beat GW Colonials).
The category of mythical mascots is tricky (e.g., Va Tech Hokies, Georgetown Hoyas). Hokies and Hoyas aren't anything. We decided that schools with no mascots (e.g., Illini!) lose to teams with mythical mascots (e.g., Hokies) but that Hoyas are a special kind of mythical mascot because they have adopted a dog image; hence, they are quasi-bulldogs and go far in the tournament. (But, of course, they lose to the Great Danes because the Great Danes embrace their dogness and don't have to make up silly names like "Hoya").
So, where did this all get us? So far, the Dogs Win bracket is in last place in the pool. But, we still got 26 out of 48 correct picks. Not bad! And we have picked the Salukis to go all the way, so you never know. Only time (and Kansas coach Bill Self's tendency to fall apart in the tournament) will tell...
Next year, a cat bracket. We promise.
Now if there had been any retrievers in the pool, you'd be winning it all. Wonderful logic, I might add. I laughed out loud and all your reasons.
Posted by: Lu | 22 March 2007 at 01:14 PM
We actually talked about that -- why there aren't more mascots named after labs, terriers, etc.? I mean, ducks? Come on!
Posted by: caraf | 22 March 2007 at 01:28 PM
Here's to the mythical creatures--Rock Chalk Jayhawk! KU!
--slatta, University of Kansas '83.
Posted by: Sara | 23 March 2007 at 02:24 AM
Watch out for the Golden Bucked Toothed Rodents in the next couple of years.
Rock on Tubby Smith...your loss Kentucky!
Posted by: jim Finnegan | 23 March 2007 at 08:54 AM
Holy crap, how does my hockey-focused geek bro know more about coaching changes in basketball than I do? I guess I missed that news yesterday. Very interesting. I actually have always liked Tubby and think that he has gotten a bum rap at Kentucky. I happen to have his autograph in my office at Illinois, thanks to a Kentucky fan/parent I know who shook him down for it at the Final Four events in Indy a few years back. I would like to see good things for MN basketball and The Barn.
Posted by: caraf | 23 March 2007 at 10:10 AM
Loved the DOGSWIN idea....am thinking about possibilities for next year. How about a Which Mascot is Most Edible bracket? Oregon would have been a great pick this year, and the imaginary mascots are just as interesting to think about.
Posted by: Achter | 26 March 2007 at 08:40 PM
Yes, which would taste better -- a jayhawk or a hokie?
Posted by: caraf | 27 March 2007 at 09:34 AM
I think the hokie's taste has real possibilities, and the element of surprise. Admittedly, I'm biased because living in Virginia I see so many bumper stickers with that little muscular bird. It's a taunt, and I want to eat their mascot for it. The Jayhawk is midwestern fare, and likely to taste bland. Now, a Jayhawk hotdish? That's a different matter.
Posted by: Achter | 28 March 2007 at 03:38 PM